Player Profile: Marc Boucher

Name: Marc Boucher

Born: October 10^th 1980, St-Hyacinthe

5’9” weight: 198

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Boucher was born in 1980, his father was a well known tennis man, Robert Boucher. A native of St. Hyacinthe (Quebec), Robert Boucher was Canada's top ranked tennis player for an amazing eleven consecutive years. His mother, Mary Rose-Anna Travers was a very popular singer, better known as "La Bolduc". They had their first kid in 1980, Marc Boucher, and a second one in 1984, Billy Boucher. He started to skate at the age of 3 and played for various local team from age 5 to his teen years. Marc was a prolific hockey player, noticed by the scouts of several junior teams, he had a brilliant hockey career ahead of him. But he slowly started to lose power in his shot, his accuracy wasn’t what it was, nobody could figure out why he was regressing. His coach, Ron Vanderbush, recalls the downfall of Boucher [Vanderbush] “It was really unusual for a player of his age and talent to regress, especially when all the other ones improved… We were puzzled”. Then coach Vanderbush was silent for few seconds and added “When I found out he was a chronic masturbator and his hand was turning into a claw, I was baffled… I couldn’t believe he would throw away a pro career just to play with his pipi!” Slowly over the years, Boucher started to control his urges and was able to regain his power shot, giving him the opportunity to play point for the Shocker’s. [Marc Boucher] “It was a dark period for me, I had so much testosterone and there was just no trim in St-Hyacinthe. I had to do everything myself, sacrifying my velvet hands for a moment of pleasure.” Boucher doesn’t enjoy revisiting the past and prefers avoiding the subject. [Boucher] “I’m focusing on my second season as a Shocker and can’t wait for the season to resume. It’s been a few weeks since our last game, the NABHL is a real mess this year, no wonder teams are considering signing elsewhere.” Other Shocker players have voiced their discontent towards the league [Jeff Jasmin] “This league is broken down… So broken even tape couldn’t fix it! Let’s just hope that Boucher can control his urges and doesn’t start beating off his **** like it owes him money.”

You can all come and cheer for the Shocker’s next Monday when the season resumes. Marc “The Claw” will be looking to rip it from the point…

Until then, keep your eyes on the ball and your stick on the floor kids…