Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Shockers Downed Again

Final Score
Grinders 9
Shockers 6

Shockers lost their second in a row after last night's match-up against the Grinders. Grinders, NABHL's power house team for the past two seasons, looked much quicker and much more in control than the Shockers did last night.

"They got the positioning, they've played together since they were kids," commented Steve Towell, who admitted that he used to coach most of the Grinders in ice hockey.

Grinders jumped out to a 2-0 lead after the first period. Danny Zollo and Anthony Marchetta scoring respectively for the boys in black.

With the Shockers still struggling to help out their defense in the period, the Grinders took advantage and netted another two goals a minute apart from each other. Steve Diabo would finally get the shutout ruiner with just 40 seconds left in the period. Steve Towell and Andrew Stevens picking up an assist on the goal.

The third period was the most action packed as both teamed went goal-for-goal for six straight exchanges until the Grinders edged themselves further ahead by adding another two extra.
With the Shockers down 9-4 they decided to play an all-out strategy regardless of being on a penalty kill. In result, Steve Diabo picked up a shorthanded goal making it his second of the game with Donald Toohey getting the lone assist. With 41 seconds left in the game, Towell added a powerplay goal to finish off the game 9-6, Toohey and Chris Diabo getting the assists.

In what was the Shockers best game for staying out of the penalty box, the team struggled to keep the quick and dangerous Grinders at bay.

"It is tough to get ahead when we score and they score right after," Chris Di Sensi commented after the game.

Last night's loss makes the streak a big two games in a short NABHL season. The Shockers will be back to a full line-up after Ben Ducharme served his one game suspension and hopefully will be a playing factor in the Shockers attempt to turn the table back to the wins column.

Shockers take on the Blazers (3-0-1) next Monday @ 7:30pm.

#
Player
G
A
PTS
SH
PIM
2
Donald Toohey
1
3
4
0
0
9
Steve Diabo
3
0
3
0
0
19
Chris Diabo
0
3
3
0
2
14
Chris DiSensi
1
1
2
0
2
91
Steve Towell
1
1
2
0
0
89
Andrew Stevens
0
1
1
0
0
26
Jeff Jasmin
0
1
1
0
0
55
Marc Boucher
0
1
1
0
0

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

SHOCKERS' PLAYER PROFILE: Steve Diabo

In this week's spotlight, the big baller, shot caller himself, Steve Diabo will be exposed and exploited just like his ancestors were back in the day (that was a low blow, I'm not going to lie) in this edition of Shockers' Player Profile.

Steve's story starts way back before he was born, his grandfather, Jeremiah Running Water Diabo, was actually a well-known, self-taught lacrosse player in four out of the five native american nations. Unfortunately, his dominance in the lacross world was cut short due to the devastations at Wounded Knee forced him and his family to flee Omaha, Nebraska away from the threats of the U.S. 7th Cavalry (need more historical info of this event, click here).

The long trek, lead the him and his wife Misty Sky Rainbow to Cornwall, Ontario where Jeremiah Running Water Diabo had setup a fur trading post. This is where the Diabo family were coined the nickname "Fur Trader Diabo" by the white men. The family laid low in Cornwall until Steve's father was born, Wahtata:Towe! Diabo a.k.a Murrey in the mid-1900's.

Murrey, always a rebel, was not to be held down in Ontario and decided to venture further east and settle in Oka, Quebec. Murrey, not much of a surfer, enjoyed the beach life and became a familiar face at the Oka beach. During the winter, Murrey discovered his talents in Lacrosse, passed down from his forefathers. Since he had been exposed to white-culture, hockey infected his lifestyle and discovered an amazing talent while on ice. Murrey was a instant star. Four-time lacrosse MVP and several appearances in the National Lacrosse League All-Star games. He was also the leading scorer in several hockey leagues in the area of Oka. Unfortunately for him, Gino Odjick, Jordan Tootoo, Aaron Asham and Jonathan Cheechoo broke into the NHL too late for Murrey Diabo to make his big break as Natives were still frowned upon by the NHL. Murrey never got his chance in the big leagues but was still a ladies man nonetheless. Everyone knew who he was in the community and was invited to many big events, including the first ever North American Indigenous Games; this is where he would meet the love of his life.

A fun-loving, feisty gal; a volonteer at the games, called herself Bare Winters but all her friends knew her as "Diamond." Murrey, a fan of this young lady, later married her and had three children, the first of which was Steve.

Murrey, now immersed in family life, became frustrated with Oka. He claimed that the beach-life had become too commercialized for him and he needed to shelter his family from "the man." Also, a controvesery commenced, referred to the Oka Crisis and Murrey was not prepared to deal with a stand-off with the white man. Diamond, decendent of a Navajo family, was already used to a nomadic lifestyle and proposed to move to a small town, not a on a reservation, but close enough to one so they would not forget their people. Murrey and Diamond through a dart at a map and it landed on Chateauguay, Quebec.

Chateauguay hosted a rich hockey culture for eldest son, Steve, to hone his skills. His younger brother Chris (who can be seen in the Shockers line-up) and the youngest, sister, Brittany, all became familiar with a hockey stick. Steve was deemed one of the finest as he grew up and many saw a bright future, much like when his father was his age.

In high school, Steve inherited the old family nickname, Fur Trader Diabo and when he graduated, his yearbook was filled with wishes of success in the NHL. Unfortunately, Steve was coaxed into working for a local cigarette shack and lost focus on his visions of grandure. His was living life in the fast lane, driving fast cars, eating at fancy restaurants, playing in a rock band and living life to the fullest, until businesses started folding up. A government crack-down started sending more and more people out of under-the-table jobs, cigarette shacks started to close up and money was being tied up by government officials. Steve escaped the judicial hammer but lost most of what he could call his former lifestyle.

Steve started to lose control of life. He and his girlfriend ended their relationship, the rock band went on hiatus, the restaurants turned into McDonalds' and Wendy's and he began drinking in shadey places. Steve was even seen hanging out with strange clowns on Ste-Catherine street in Montreal.

Before Steve's dark ages kicked in, he met Andrew Stevens and was introduced to the Shockers. Steve had known Stevens before through high school, hockey and through friends. Stevens knew how good of a hockey player Steve was and knew that he could make a big impact in the NABHL.

Steve made his Shockers debut in season one of the Shockers' history book along side his friends Stevens and Jon Sante. The formed the Shockers first line and called themselves the "8-9 line." Unfortunately, the line lasted the first period of the first game of the first season and was disbanded. The line would never reassemble ever again.

Second two came around and Steve decided to take a season off to recollect himself and concentrate on ice hockey career, the love he had lost during his Big Baller period. Steve returned to help out for a handful of games but did not sign on full-time until the off-season.

He was added to the roster for this season with his kid brother, Chris, and together are a force to be reckonned with in the NABHL.

Come watch Steve race for the goal scoring title next Monday as he and the Shockers take on last season's champs, the Grinders.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Shockers Expos'd

Final Score
Expos 6
Shockers 4

The Shockers debuted their black shirts last night at le Rinque and also debuted a losing side to their season. Losing last night's game to the Expos is heart-breaking enough, but losing a game due to penalties is disappointing.

"Last night we got called on some bad ones, that's normal in every game. There are always going to be those calls that don't go your way, but, we're not making it any easier on ourselves when we take stupid penalties after the whistle," commented Francois Hamelin after last night's game.

Penalties severe enough to see both Doanld Toohey and Chris Di Sensi get the ref's heave-ho throughout the game.

"It made us pay in the end," added Gary McDermott, "if we take away their power-play goals, we would have won that game."

Penalties aside, it was an all-round breakdown for the Shockers who got trampled by the Expos offense who took advantage of the Shockers' forwards not coming back to be on the boards for the defense.

"We were pretty jammed back there and they picked off a bunch of our clearing attempts and turned them into goals," Jeff Jasmin explained.

Giancarlo Capaz, despite making a large sum of saves throughout the game, was hung out to dry on some of the Expos goals.

"Our passes were on the wrong tape and they put the ball where I couldn't get to it," commented Capaz.

Shockers' big guns were not firing on all cylinders last night either, Steve Towell explained, "we knew what to do and we didn't do it. We shot but kept missing the net, makes it pretty tough to get goals with shots like that."

"The goalie let some soft ones by to boot, but, we couldn't hit the net," added Toohey.

The only thing that the Shockers had going for them was their success on the power-play, even though they were not on very many of them, McDermott showing that he can be a force to be reckoned with on the point. McDermott picked up his first goal and point of the season last night.

"Feels good to break the ice, let me tell you," commented McDermott.

Shockers will have to regroup quickly as they take on the fast and furious Grinders next week. Grinders always made short work out of the Shockers in the past and have been picking up where they left off with their near-perfect season, last season by going 4-0 thus far. However, last season's champs haven't been blowing teams out of the water, so it should be interesting how they deal with the Shockers next Monday. With the Shockers' weakness exposed by last night's game, there will need to be some rethinking about strategies on the part of captain, Alain Godard.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Shockers Out-Battle the Warriors



Final Score
Shockers 13
Warriors 6

If you thought the Shockers were not a team that could compete in the NABHL, think again! The newly revamped Shockers make it four in a row after last night's shellacking delivered to the Warriors, 13-6.

Steve Diabo, a.k.a Big Baller Shot Caller, was a huge factor in the Shocker's victory finishing off with 4 goals and 5 assists for a grand total of 9 points on the night.

Steve Towell accumulated 6 points which included a hat-trick and a trio of assists.

Donald Toohey was right on Towell's heels with a big 5 points, comprising of 1 goal and 4 assists.

Although the Warriors did have their fair share of decent attacks, the big D of the Shockers held up strong and not to mention, some great saves by Giancarlo "Hollywood Pepe" Capaz. On the other side of the Rinque, the Warriors' padded moving target, Robert Camara, got peppered from all angles and leaving holes where Shockers' attacking forces were shooting. Most of the game his defense left him out to dry and increasingly dug themselves into submission. Meanwhile, Shockers O'fence (in spirit of St. Patty's day today), found a great amount of success by shooting from outside the perimeter.

The first period, the Warriors came out of the gate strong but within 1:30 they already found themselves 1-0 as Toohey blasted a long-bomb one-timer into the back of the Warriors' net. The period droned on until Towell picked his first of two of the period with 5:25 to spare. Let's skip a shift and put the Toohey-Towell-Stevens line back on and BOOM! Towell's got his second of the period. But, a minute later, Warriors' El Capitano, Michael Camara nets one with a toonie left in the period.

On to the second period and the Shockers would fire in 5 goals and give up just 3. Andrew Stevens would kick off the period picking up his third of the season. A buck-twenty later, Ben Ducharme bangs home an orphaned rebound that the Warriors neglected to clear out deep in the slot. 2:30 later, Towell would light the lamp pretty colors again for his hat-trick. A minute later, Warriors try to make it a hockey game, David Traverse scores his 5th of the season. However, fresh off the bench, BBSC (Steve Diabo), scores his first of the game to edge up Shockers one more point. Warriors reply soon after as Jean Benoit Desrochers chipped one home, but not to be out-done, Chris DiSensi slapped in his 2nd of the season in a hurry. With Toohey still chanting "Italian Stallion" after DiSensi's goal, everyone's favorite Warrior, #77 Daniel Poncelet, fires a slapshot past Capaz. After the whistle, there was a bit of a name-calling competition which almost lead to Poncelet eating a knuckle sandwich from Shockers' big bearded beast from the east. The period would run out with the Shockers in good shape 8-4, but they were still hungry...c'mon they're big dudes, they need to eat.

Bring on the third and the Warriors came out swinging. Even swinging enough to get a goal two minutes into it as David Restherot surprises the Shockers and gets his team within three. Shockers want to talk business so they speak the only language they know how to speak...scoring more goals. This time the captain, the Eric The Red of the Rinque, Alain Godard, trades the Warriors' masked minion, two shots for two goals and the Shockers are up 10-5. Just 40 seconds later, Warriors' Desrochers puts the Shockers' celebrations on hold when he adds another goal to his bar tab. With the game hovering around the time-to-go-home mark, Diabo lights up the lamp not once, not twice but thrice. Back to back to back jacks from the BBSC camp and this game is pretty much done, son.

For the Shockers' biggest win (in terms of goals for) of the season, they had one of the biggest crowds in the stands cheering at every goal for and silently in disgust at every goal against. Since there was a ton of goals, there was some soars hands and throats on the way back home after the game.

The red hot Shockers take on the Expos next Monday. Expos always gave the Shockers a run for their money in the past and usually out-play them in all aspects, however, we are talking about a different Shockers team now so the tables will surely be turned this time. The Expos are currently trying to find their place in the Full Throttle division as they are jam-packed in the middle of the standings with 2 wins, 1 loss and 1 loss in OT.

The game video clip is on its way but for now you can take a peak at some freeze frames right here!

Happy St. Patty's Day! Enjoy the sweet taste of beer and Shockers' victory!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Trading in Hockey Sticks for Beer

As reported last week, Francois Hamelin, had admitted in a press conference that he had been battling a substance abuse problem for the past couple of seasons. He later denied what was said in his reply to the blog posting last week by stating:

"What a fraud!!!!! On the first pick I was obviously getting ready to bake a cake and on the second one I was enjoying a glass of milk with some Habs player..."

In any case, our inside source supplied the blog with a picture of Hamelin this past weekend with startling similarities to David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff drunken escapades. Has Hamelin substituted powder and cooch for hooch? Some sources said that Hamelin got so desperate for beer that he has traded in his "Johnson" (it's a hockey stick) for more brew from a local watering hole.

"Bullsh*t," replied Hamelin.

Shockers management would not comment on Hamelin's status but it is for sure that Hamelin is enjoying winning a bit too much with his victory drinking binges continuing for several days.

Fellow team mate, noble captain and good friend of Francois "Hammered" Hamelin, Alain Godard did release a statement this morning regarding his homie:

"[Francois] Hamelin is in good hands. He is cleaning up well and he is ready to play tonight against the Warriors. The allegations of his drug and alcohol abuse are overly exagerated, which is typical when you are a hockey sensation in Montreal. Hamelin is a great guy on and off the ice and has no signs on Britney Spears Syndrome, just give him some time to find his path of life." Come see the ball hockey phenom, Hamelin, tonight @ 6:30pm at le Rinque as he and the Shockers take on the Warriors.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hamelin's Kicking the Habit

Last night, Shockers D-man, Francois Hamelin, held a very personal press conference to discuss his recent attempt to clean up from his long-term addiction to cocaine. According to Hamelin, the abuse was bad enough to affect his life and most importantly, his performance on the rinque.

"I never thought that I would get to this point," said Hamelin before he broke into tears.

Hamelin's recent admission explains his questionable behavior throughout his carreer in the NABHL. Last season, he freaked out on former teammate Nick Sullo during a game against the Chiefs after Sullo's stick nearly decapitated Hamelin. In the video below, you can see the enraged Hamelin, javolin toss Sullo's orphaned hockey stick and while the stick is still floating on cloud nine, Hamelin yells: "Get out of here! Get the fuck out of here!"

The next day, Sullo had temporarily quit the team before making a comeback as the 6th defense several games later, where he remained the rest of the season.

"He said he was sorry, and we came to terms about it down the road but I can't say that rage caught on video was 100% coke-related...maybe just like 95% of it," explained Hamelin.



Reporters asked if his addiction also accounted for his diving-around-the-rinque playing style, Hamelin shrugged off that remark simply by replying, "...that's just how I play, if you don't like it....get out of here! Get the f**k out of here!"

Hamelin, no stranger to the camera had been seen in various places with various people who are suspicious of cocaine use and abuse as well which undoubtedly proved that cocaine was a part of his lifestyle.

Hamelin seen here in his home office with a mountain of a questionable white powder.








Hamelin seen here with both Kostitsyn Brothers and all three have a suspicious white powder under their noses.





Although, Hamelin is kicking the bucket he does not plan to miss any games and vows that he will not be attending rehab as it cuts into his busy work-out schedule. He promises his team and fans that we will stay true to his word.

Come support Hamelin, this upcoming Monday as he and the Shockers take on the Warriors @ 6:30pm.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Shockers Snake it in Shootouts



Final Score (OT)
Shockers 6
Purple Cobras 5

Shockers are off to their best start in Shocker history going now a perfect 3-0 thus far this season. The full-time additions of Donald Toohey, Steve Towell, Chris Di Sensi, Chris Diabo and Steve Diabo have made a giant impact in the way this team has been playing this season and is making a name for the Shockers in the NABHL.

Toohey, who after last night's game, is the current scoring leader of the Rockstar conference with 4 goal and 9 assists has been posting impressive numbers each and every game and has shown that he can setup mostly anyone with a goal.

Towell, who leads the conference with the most goals has displayed a rocket-powered shot with the accuracy of a chinese ping-pong champion. He has not disappointed the team's management.

Both of these gentlemen were fairly busy last night as these combined for 7 points (3 goals - 4 assists) exlcuding Towell's game winner in the shootouts.

The Shockers jumped out of the gate with a 3-0 first period; dominating most of the game play and getting some big saves, courtesy of Hollywood Capaz. Toohey, Towell and Alain Godard each with a goal and an interracial relationship of assists between the three.

Second period brought on some penalty trouble for the Shockers and seemed to have jump-started the Purple Barney-suited Cobras. Jon Chicas and Michael Zell posted each a goal before Chris Diabo replied with his 5th of the season. The Cobras would battle back picking up two goals in less than 40 seconds from Eric Lefevre and Dan Harroch respectively. But with about a minute left in the frame, Towell would shine it up, put it on a tee and lace one past goalie, Aaron Blauer, to give the Shockers the go-ahead.

The Third period hosted a bukkake more penalties drawn by Purple Cobras diving around the rink worst than an olympic swim team and was reminiscent of the antics of the NHL's big pest, Sean Avery. Chris Di Sensi fell victim to a disgusting call by the referee for interference. Ben Ducharme picked up two minutes for a roughing call after he cleared out one of the Cobras d-men into the boards. Chris Diabo was penalized on a bogus call from the ref for slashing and then got thrown out of the game after he head butted an opposing player in the face with his helmet during the after-whistler festival of name-calling and glove-sharing. Despite the penalties, the Shockers had a chance to put it away when Toohey fired a howitzer on net and found its way on Andrew Stevens stick with the empty net, but a diving Blauer would catch a break and introduced his paddle to block the shot. Soon later while the Cobras were enjoying the endless powerplay, Yaron Schwager scored his first of the season to tie the game with a little less than 4 minutes left.

The game would go to shootouts. Marc "The Claw" Boucher who had a lot of success last season in shootouts was stoned on by a sprawling Blauer. Steve Diabo made it look easy as his deke was successful to get the goal. Steve Towell had no problems putting the Cobras away as he shelfed on Blauer. Capaz, solid as always in shootouts, did not disappoint and stopped both Cobra attempts.

Next game is on Monday against the Warriors at 6:30pm. The Warriors were at the bottom of the barrel last season but picked up some key players near the end that made a huge difference. This season they have split decisions thus far losing 6-5 against the Huskies and then winning last night in shootouts 6-5 against the Decepticons. Their big guns are #5, Jonathan Cyr (3G-3A) and #7 David Traverse (2G-3A) look to do some damage but will have to face the big D's and the rocketeers of the Shockers.

If your panties aren't wet from the video and my erotic-novel writing style, feast your eyes on some game time pictures, click here.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Turn on the Lamp, it's a Shockers' Knight

Final Score
Shockers 12
D5 Knights 2

To some guys in the Shockers' locker room this was revenge, to the most of the new guys it was just a walk in the park. The Shockers were taken to town by the D5 Knights in the first round of the playoffs last season and a lot of the guys were prepping for this day to come.

"You always want to get that revenge match and when it comes you just have to make sure that you come out strong and get the win or else you just look like a bunch of weiners and a sack of moldy potato chips," explained assistant captain, Andrew Stevens.

Once the ball was dropped, the Shockers settled in and let the boys in blue have it.

"Before the ball even dropped, [Steve] Diabo came up to me and said 'six points.' If that kid says six points, [D5 Knights] are in for a wild night," added Stevens.

It didn't take anymore than about six minutes into the game before Steve Diabo picked up his first of four goals of the night. About a 1:20 later, the newbie, Steve Towell, wizzed one past Miles Schwartz, the D5 Knights goaltender. A few minutes later, Shockers tried out the powerplay unit and meshed another one this time coming from Chris Di Sensi, to give him his first in the Shockers uniform. Not to be out-done by his big brother, Chris Diabo jumped in on the action and bombed in his first of two. The Knights were able to muster up something before the first period when Ricky Cohen scored on the down-and-out Giancarlo Capaz.

The second period was all Shockers as they added a hefty four goal assault including seconds from Diabo, Diabo and Towell and a lone goal from the Velvet Revolver, Donald Toohey. Schwartz was getting bombshelled but at the same time getting lucky as the Shockers squad hit a bukkake of posts and crossbars throughout the period.

Third period hosted more of the same as the Shockers poured on the attacked like your grandmother pours marmalade on toast. Goals coming from Andrew Stevens, Steve Diabo getting his hat-trick plus one, and Towell netting his second of the night. The game was done with 3:17 left in the period when Towell's last goal mercied the hurting Knights.

Highlights of the game, besides the goals, was Di Sensi's fashioning a tarzan-like t-shirt for the Knights' Stu Wechsler during a third period scrum in front of the net, Jeff Jasmin's career-high 5 point performance picking up five assists throughout the Shockers down-pour of goals, Toohey's 1 goal - 4 assist night of havoc, and Steve Diabo turning the D5 Knights defense inside out with his magic hands of man mayo to pound home 4 goals and adding an assist for good measure.

Of course, because I am paid to mention him, Giancarlo Capaz, made the big saves when needed and was not nearly pelted by shots as his counter-part was. Capaz also showed off a new mask last night to match his new equipment and was compared to the like of Martin "Darth" Gerber, "Old School" Tom Barasso and Tim Thomas. When Capaz was asked who he preferred to be compared to, he replied:

"I wish Corey Sanford was in the list because he's the best goalie ever but I guess I'll go with old school Tom Barasso."

The shalacking was sweet in all aspects of the Shockers game.

Next game is Monday, March 9th @ 8:30pm against the Purple Cobras. The Cobras have been off to a good start in their freshman season in the NABHL rolling over the Bulldogs and the Huskies respectively. They have succeeded in keeping the scores low and squeeking by with the wins with no more than 2 goals more than their opponent. Let's see how the Shockers deal with the Cobras' heavy defensive playing style and on the other hand, what will the Cobras do extra to keep a team who enjoys to run up the score off the scoresheet.