Monday, February 23, 2009

Hollywood Pepe in Trouble?

Last week, it was reported that the Montreal Canadiens' own Kostitsyn brothers and Roman Hamrlik were involved with Pasquale Mangiola, a known member of the organized crime group that was recently arrested during "Operation Axe." The NHL already taking action, it would not take long before officials starting looking into other hockey leagues. In the end they found that the Shockers' own Giancarlo "Hollywood Pepe" Capaz had some ties to the mobster.

Despite Capaz going on the record to deny all allegations that he had any relations with Mangiola it does explain last seasons dramatics when he showed up to some games wreaking of vodka and swedish rose pedals. Some rumors from the locker room even stated that Capaz was seen transporting large quantities of Columbian cocaine in his goalie bag, however, Capaz insists that baking soda and flour was on special at Costco and he was holding onto it for a friend.

While the NHL is looking into the cases of the Kostitsyns and Hamrlik, NABHL has not taken any action to investigate further into Capaz's case.

Shockers' organization did not comment on the rumors circling their star goaltender but team captain, Alain "Wizzle-Wazzle" Godard did have a couple of words for the press: "As long as he is playing well, who gives a deuce!? Everyone likes to live life on the edge, drinking malt, and banging hoes with no rubbers!"

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Shockers Romp the Chiefs in Season Opener

Final Score
Shockers 9
Chiefs 3

Well there wasn't a doubt in any veteran of the Shockers mind that this season would be different from the previous two. Adding some big guns up front definitely paved a new yellow brick road for the team to prance their merry way to what everyone has their eyes on...no, not the wizard of Oz but the NABHL championship. It is still substantially early to even mention the word "cup" unless it is inserted into the sentence "dude, where's my nut cup?" but watching the redefined Shockers out on the Rinque, it is some inspiring stuff.

The season opener on Monday night was against the Chiefs, who last season were somewhat of a no contest in the playoffs just like the Shockers, so let's just say, put all newly revamped line-up sheets aside, this game was Even-Steven from the get-go. But as soon as the game got rolling, the Shockers took it to the Chiefs. Newcomers, Donald Toohey (#2 in your Shockers programme) and Steve Towell lit the lamp and combined for some serious pointage (still waiting on the NABHL to post the stats to confirm the exact number). The Diabo brothers, Chris and Steve, also has their guns locked and loaded and combined for a series of points as well. Assistant captain, Andrew Stevens, netted one himself and I'm sure there is someone else but like I said, still waiting for NABHL to post the stats.

We can chew the fat all day about how grand the boys in the front did, making beauty passes, settling down the play, controlling the zone and getting the job done, but let's not forget about the boys in the back. With the forwards doing a good job at keeping the Chiefs low in their zone, we got to see a little more action from the point including big shots from Marc "The Claw" Boucher and Francois "Hamburger Helper" Hamelin. We also saw, new kid on the block (not to mistaken for that pathetic boy band of crotch smokers), Chris DiSensi jump into the play a couple of times and had a handful of opportunities. DiSensi, who is known for his in-your-face type of gameplay also was hammered with penalties during the game, taking 16 minutes home with him. He commented after the game about his NABHL debut:

"It is going to take some getting used to. Now I know I can't do anything or say anything to the ref or else I'm sitting down in the box for some extra minutes."

Of course, stealing the spotlight away from everyone was Giancarlo "Hollywood Pepe" Capaz making saves that made highway robbery look like stealing candy from a baby with a pair of steel-toe boots and a rambo knife. Most notably, was the flip-flopping back and forth in the second period to stop not two but three empty net chances back-to-back-to-back. If we only had a camera, now no one is going to believe him that he made those saves.

All in all, a super start for the Shockers as they walk away with a 9-3 victory. Shockers will take a pause for a week before the resume action against last season's playoff finalists the District 5 Knights. D5 Knights lost their season opener 9-1 against the Huskies and have reportedly lost a couple of key players over the off-season but that should not be a reason for the Shockers to take them lightly as they already been surprised by them last season losing to them in the first round of the playoffs.

The game kicks off March 2, 2009 @ 9:30pm sharp.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Player Profile: Giancarlo "Hollywood Pépé" Capaz

* * * HOLLYWOOD PEPE * * *

Giancarlo “Hollywood Pépé” Capaz was born in 1979 in Roque de Pico, a small island off the Acores of Portugal. His mother, Fatima Zara, was also born there in the mid 50’s and has never set foot off the island. With only a few thousand souls on the island, she was forced to marry a local fisherman, Salgado Saco (Which would translate to Salty Sack). He was twice her age but a hard worker, dedicated, humble and great provider for his family. They lived a nice and quiet life by the seashore, but Fatima was still in quest of true romance, too often left alone for days and even weeks at a time; loneliness was taking over. July 1949, her prayers were answered while Salgado was out at sea for a couple days. A crew ship made a stop in Roque de Pico, that’s when she meet a stud that would change her life. She ended up in a torrid love affair with Ettore Boiardi (Better known as Chef Boyardee) and got pregnant from that love affair. This caused quite a bit of turmoil with Salgado since he had been identified as sterile. Mr. Saco was such a good Samaritan, he treated the new born like his own. GC grew up on the island but didn’t want to spend his life there, fishing wasn’t for him.


He took a chance and moved to Hollywood and did a few auditions to become an actor. After a few refusals, he made it! Made it to the big times and became the idol of many teens when he starred on the hit series Beverly Hills 90210. His boyish good looks brought him to the craziest parties, mingling with high society and living life in the fast lane. Often seen in wild night clubs with former friend David Hasseloff where they would drink themselves to the verge of insanity. After a few seasons it caught up to him. The party life slowly turned his body into a disaster; the cocaine and drinking binges made him irritable to a level where nobody wanted to hangout with him, not even the Hoff.


He started a boy band to turn his career around. “The Nash” never made it to big scene, mostly stuck lip-synching in strip malls of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Hollywood Pépé was starting to get low on cash; the Courvoisier and Cocaine parties were things from the past. He resulted in mostly drinking Colt45 and taking hits from the bong in the back of his van.


GC had reached the bottom of the barrel, spending his days watching Canuck’s game on his 12” TV. He took his van and decided to drive it until the engine would die, that’s how he ended up in the east end of Montreal. Getting a job as a dishwasher at the “Douche Bar” seemed to be the worst job ever for him but in fact, that’s where the Shockers were making the draft of the first edition of the team. GC took his first paycheck and bought himself a secondhand goalie equipment to become goaltender for the Shocker’s. His spectaculars saves earned a generous long term contract and GC “Hollywood Pépé” his back in the limelight.

Fans can’t wait to see him back in action next Monday @ 8:30 when the Shocker’s play their first game of the Winter ‘09 edition.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Guess Who's Back?

Well after last season's disappointing elimination in the first round of the play-offs and the accumulated off-rinque drama it was questionable if the Shockers would make any sort of attempt for a comeback. The head honcho, Alain Godard, had been frustrated enough to even put the 'C' on the line after last season.

After a couple of weeks of work, some of the key Shocker members had been working behind the scenes to put together a team for the upcoming winter season. There has been some pretty big changes in the line-up, most notably is the offense that has received a rather big face-lift.

For starters, the Shockers have signed new-comers, Steve Towell and Donald Toohey who are friends of defensive phenom, Gary McDermott, and are supposed to be the best thing since sliced bread when paired up on the same line. Each of these boys are supposed to have a howitzer of a shot and hands that can only be comparable to the smoothness of triple-ply Cottonelle toilet paper (you thought I was going to say butter didn't you?).

Also making a comeback are the Diabo brothers. Steve and Chris are the last of the Mohicans of the NABHL. Quick, precise, smart and harder shots than a night of Jager Bombs. Together they combined for 19 points in just a handful of games in the regular season...so theoretically speaking if they sign on for a full season, they should combine for about 66 points this upcoming season (yeah, I did the math).

Last season's number one line of Andrew Stevens, Ben Ducharme and Alain Godard will make a comeback but the certainty of the line remaining together this season is questionable due to the lack of centers on the team. Stevens had been rumored that he has offered his services as center after a decent faceoff win percentage last season. Although it is true that the team lacks centers, they have confirmed that they will not be signing anymore players for the next season and did mention that they are aware of the situation but do expect players to not be able to make all the games and having an excess of one player assures them of not running around last minute for a spare.

As for the back end, there aren't any major changes except for Dwayne Pilon acknowledged to team management that he would not be able to sign-on for a full season so the team acquired Chris Disensi to fill in the gap. Disensi combines hockey sense and grit and should be a big help to setup the plays from the defensive end, watch out for this kid to make a big impression. The rest of the defense squad is jam packed of familiar faces including the likes of Marc "The Claw" Boucher, Francois Hamelin and Jeff Jasmin.

In nets we will get to oogle at the boyish good looks of Giancarlo "Hollywood Pepe" Capaz. Baby Face will returning to the Shockers after dropping out at the last quarter of the season and handed over the reigns to Marco D'ambrosi. D'ambrosi will tag along as Capaz's backup but Capaz assures his fans that Capaz is here to stay. Shockers is where his heart is...enough so that he even vote himself as captain during the captaincy elections.

Godard did briefly comment on his expectations for this upcoming season:

"We're aiming at making it up there in the standings and hopefully we'll get over the 500 mark this season. We'll be working on less goal against and more goals for. We added some firepower so hopefully it should be a well-rounded campaign this season. ROCK OUT!"

Inspiring words from the returning captain.

This upcoming season kicks off Monday, the 16th @ 8:30 against the returning Chiefs. This should be a good warm-up game for the Shockers as the Chiefs are slotted to be even with the Shockers (comparing last season stats).

More info to be posted in the coming days.