Emmanuel Behind "Pants on the Ground" Stunt

Less than 24 hours after allegations of Mike Rossi distributing child pornography surfaced, it seems like another Shockers has made the headlines. Even-tempered defenseman, Greg Emmanuel, has been accused of being behind the American Idol Youtube star, General Larry Platt's media frenzy. Emmanuel apparenting met Platt in an L.A. night club and offered to help Platt reach the summit of popularity.

Emmanuel, drunk and in a wild temperment as usual, fronted $5000 to Platt to "git some swagger 'n' git iced out, n***a!"

Platt appeared on America's most popular telelvision shows, American Idol, to become the next American Idol. Platt, who is now 62 years of age, somehow passed though the subscription process even though the maximum of American Idol is 28. According to an American Idol staff member, Emmanuel was "tossing Benjamins at people like as he was Nelly and P. Diddy on a Saturday night."

Platt performed his new cult-favorite "Pants on the Ground" and became an over-night success on the internet, even inciting DJ's to feature his song in remixes.

"I just wanted to help a brother out. When I met him, he was more broke than Oscar the Grouch and everybody knows, he's the poorest motherfucker on Sesame street! No body's helping him out!" commented Emmanuel on the situation.

The video can be seen here on Youtube.

Rossi in Trouble

Leading scorer of the Shockers, Mike Rossi, received word the other day that police officials are hunting him down for secretly putting DVD's of child pornography in people's parcels, shipping the boxes out to unsuspecting recipients and leaving anonymous tips on the 9-1-1 hotline to catch the "child sex offenders."

Rossi, who works in a mailroom at a fairly large company (who requested to remain anonymous) had been apparently planning and executing this sick practical joke for about 8 months.

Rossi, was apparently ratted out by fellow co-worker and aspiring hockey star, Jonathan Knight, to his manager and then escalated to the police. "We were monitoring Mr. Rossi's actions for a couple of weeks and we found a lot of disturbing evidence against him," commented Chief Investigator, Russ Hampton.

Despite, the apparent evidence found, Rossi might be able to loop-hole his way out of the allegations since the evidence collected was without a valid warrant and was technically unauthorized property, therefore the case would be thrown out of court.

When Rossi was asked about the accusations, he simply said that he thought of something, paused and then said that he was framed and he is trying to find the real culprit on his own accord. Rossi has been in the spotlight recently for leading the Shockers in points, however, to most of his peers his spot on the team appeared to be fragile at the beginning of the season where Rossi had a slow start which could be the reason for someone to sabotage his carreer. Players like Andrew Johnson and Jonathan Knight are known to hold a certain grudge against the Shockers due to the management backing out of contract negotiations. Johnson commented: "I wouldn't have framed this kid, I hate the Shockers, especially the little queer goalie but sending someone to jail to be ass-raped by a guy bigger than Jeff [Jasmin], that's not my style."

In the meantime, Rossi will continue to play for the Shockers and you can expect him to suit up for Saturday's game against the Pythons. Shockers' team managment was asked about the surfaced news and they simply said: "Innocent until proven guilty. He's our leading scorer so we're not ready to throw him to the wolves just yet," however, certain players have other ideas about it.

"I knew that guy wasn't right," said Joey Rae.

"Yo, that's some fucked up shit!" exclaimed Jasmin.

Look for the Shockers to play the Pythons this Saturday at 3:00pm. Pythons are looking to jump into first place while the Shockers are trying to hold on to a decent playoff poisition.

Hunters Become the Hunted

Final Score
Shockers 5
Iron Wolves 1

Despite the Shockers coming off a 2-game losing streak, despite missing 4 players out of their line-up, despite the PTM website predicting that the Shockers were going to lose, the Shockers brought their 'A' game to the table when they took on the Iron Wolves this past Saturday. The Wolves were hungry for a big win as they, like the Shockers, are fighting for playoff positioning.

"We knew we had to win, another loss means a tougher playoff schedule for us," commented Corona-crusher, Joey Rae.

According to the PTM website, which is 2 games behind on updates, the Shockers hold a 4-point lead on the Iron Wolves and are just 2-points to move from 9th to 7th. With the Shockers win and assuming I.T.T and Saints lost their two games, the Shockers jump to 7th and hold a firm 6-point lead over the Wolves.

Before the game, the Shockers received word that 3 of their core defensemen would be out of the line-up, Greg Emmanuel, Marc Boucher and captain Francois Hamelin. As always out with a serious groin injury, Frankie Ortuso. Mike Rossi, deemed interim captain for the night, called on friend Nick Petosa who has seen some ice-time with the Shockers and posted up some impressive numbers but was unable to make it. Gary McDermott called up former Shockers, Dwayne Pilon, to fill in on defense and notably was McDermott's line-mate.

"I've been waiting for [Francois Hamelin's] call all this time and finally I got my shot," commented Pilon.

The first period started off shakey for the Shockers as the Iron Wolves poured on the attack. The Shockers were bailed out by the acrobatic-antics of goalie, Giancarlo Capaz, who was standing on his head at some points. Shockers regrouped and posted up a 1-0 lead when Andrew Stevens' slapshot found the back of the net.

The second period kicked off with a good performance by the Shockers, for a change, but things would take a turn when the Iron Wolves trolleyed in and found a way to beat Capaz to tie up the game 1-1. That would be short-lived as the Shockers rumbled back with Carlo Varano potting a goal for a 2-1 lead. Right before the period was all was said and done, Capaz froze the ball, dished it to Gary McDermott who then fed Varano who Hail Mary'd to Mike Rossi who chipped it by the goaltender to make it 3-1 with just 4 seconds left in the frame.

The third period was all Shockers, who played disciplined hockey even though the Iron Wolves were showing signs of frustration. Pilon scored midway through the period with a howitzer from the point and Mike Minkiewicz slap-chopped the ball home off a one-time feed by Varano to make it 5-1.

The Shockers dominated much of the game and the win was well-meritted.

"We did quick changes, played smart and we actually worked together out there. Good all-around game," commented Capaz.

The Shockers will now have a 2-week down time until they restart the schedule against the Pythons on Saturday, January 30th @ 3:00pm. Last time these teams face, the Pythons stomped all over them and easily took it 6-1, however, Shockers will look to make it respectable and hopefully surprise the Pythons by stealing a win.

Hitmen Destroy Shockers

Final Score
Hitmen 7
Shockers 1

This past week has been a rather disappointing week for the Shockers as they suffered their second lost in a span of a week. The latest is the huge loss against the first place Hitmen by the score of 7-1.

Hitmen have been rolling over most teams this season and the Shockers were another knotch on the bedpost. They have excellent positioning in their defensive zone, an offensive unit with a good amount of depth and superb passing throughout the whole team. At most parts of the game they made the Shockers look like they were not even running anymore which made it an easy victory for the Hitmen.

The Shockers will have to regroup for this Saturday's game against the Iron Wolves (4-7-2) as the battle is in full-swing for a playoff spot with only 7 games left in the regular season. Regrouping might be a hard thing for the team to do with some core players out of the line-up. Francois Hamelin, Marc Boucher and Greg Emmanuel have confirmed to be healthy scratches and Frankie Ortuso is still most likely out with his groin injury. There have been no confirmations as to who will be filling in the voids.

Hawks Snatch Win in OT

Final Score
Hawks 4
Shockers 3 (OT)

Shockers are licking their wounds this morning as they're winning streak was abruptly halted by the Hawks in last night's over-time loss. A game where the Shockers received Carlo Varano back in the lineup for the first time in months after taking a leave of absence for personal reasons.

The Shockers, who were neck-and-neck with the Hawks in the standings, came out strong in the first posting up a 1-0 lead with Guillaume "Buddé" Côté scoring off a superb passing play by Mike Rossi and Carlo Varano. The second period is where the Shockers fell apart and let the Hawks take the lead 3-1. "Too many long-bomb passes on a surface where the ball isn't stable cost us those goals," added Hamelin.

After a heart-felt pep talk from captain Hamelin, the boys in black equalized the game at 3-a-piece when Hamelin wired one from the blueline and trickled its way to the back of the net and then Ben Ducharme chipping one home from deep in the slot off a feed from Varano. In over-time, the Shockers had a key chance to close out the game when Alain Godard tried to thread the needle to Varano, who was open on the side of the net, but the ball was stopped in its tracks and headmanned up ice for the Hawks to finish it.

"There were a few things that went wrong but over-all we can say we lost because we didn't play three periods,"commented Francois Hamelin on the Shockers performance.

"We got tired quick and we paid for it in the second trying to get too fancy. We woke up again in third but the damage was done," stated defensive muscle man, Jeff Jasmin.

The Shockers kick off 2010 with a heartbreaking loss and that does mean quite a bit in the standings as they will need to be fighting took and nail for a playoff spot. Giancarlo Capaz explains, "it was really a 6 point game in terms of standings and we blew it."

The Shockers will look to redeem themselves Tuesday at 6:30pm against the flawless Hitmen who have been rolling over teams with complete disregard. Despite the Shockers facing all kinds of different challenges this season, this may be one of the biggest tests to see how well the Shockers can keep a big scoring team, like the Hitmen, in check. "Since the Shockers started playing hockey, nothing has ever come easy so I think we're all used to being challenged," commented Andrew Stevens.

“Bounce back le gros!” – Giancarlo Capaz

The New Year's game against the Blue Gators turned out to be a much bigger battle than expected. Even if the Shockers managed to steal the win in the dying seconds, the dressing room was filled with mixed emotions after the game. Scott Hartnell look-a-like, Alain Godard commented, “we hadn’t played a game in weeks and it reflected in our play tonight.”

The Shockers appeared disorganized and never controlled the momentum of the game. The ever-so-positive tower-of-power, Joey Rae, said: “We’ll take the W, an ugly win is still win. We have to focus on the positive aspects, we stole the game in the dying minutes because this team showed determination.”

The Shockers showed up with a depleted lineup of only 3 regular forwards and had to opt to make some changes. In the big win against the Stealth Assasins, Jeff "Brazzer Jazzer" Jasmin and Marc "The Claw" Boucher had contributed a lot up front, the Shockers decided to keep the winning combination. The decision turned out to be a good one, Jazzer scored twice and the Claw's velvet hands danced around the Gators to generate a good amount of the team's offense.

The team can thank the D squad for the offensive contribution, 4 out of 5 goals coming from regular D’s. Greg "Hey Ya" Emmanuel putted his first of the season from a nice triple-deke by the Claw, Joey Rae’s dirty slapper managed to squeeze through and Jasmin a.k.a "JJ26" added a pair.

The enigmatic goalie Giancarlo "Jizzy Jizzy" Capaz is hoping his team will decide to post a big game against the Hawks this Thursday @ 6:30pm: “Bounce back le gros… We need to bounce back with a stellar performance.”

Andrew Stevens, who has been Ghost like Patrick Swayze since the game on December 10th, added this statement: “We need to start the year with a big bang, we’re playing against Hawks and we’re neck-and-neck with them in the standings… It’s a 6-point game so taking home the win is crucial.”

Shockers will be facing the Hawks and are looking to start the year with a big game and keep the winning streak going. Frankie Ortuso will still be out of lineup due to some previous groin/penis injury. Joey Rae chuckled about Ortuso's misfortune and has this to say: “Some say it’s a groin injury… Some say he put his peener in a ShopVac… I have to admit, knowing Frankie for a long time, I tend to believe the second option”

Also Mike "Minky Tits" Minkiewicz and Carlo Varano will be healthy scratches out of the lineup but power forward Guillaume Cote has been called up to fill in the void on center and lover boy, Marc Boucher will support on right wing.

Come cheer on the Shockers as they look to keep the winning streak going.