Emery syndrome – “Shower me with kisses” – G.C.Capaz

Shockers management have been trying from the get go to keep star goaltender G.C. Capaz happy but it seems like he [Capaz] wants all the spotlights to be turned on him. The high maintenance netminder has been sending all sorts of mix messages the past few weeks leaving some of the players to question his commitment to the team.

Captain, Alain Godard, didn’t want to comment the situation since he’s a huge fan of Capaz. The prima donna [Capaz] stated he needed the night off to be well rested for the busy post-season schedule. The captain [Godard] did mention it wasn’t the best of times to miss a game, he would rather have full rosters and get everybody in playoff mode.

Jasmin was quite colorful when asked to comment the situation. Capaz is a taint and Godard is a taintslave… any other question? Let’s move on and get ready for the last regular season game.

References: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=taintslave

Boucher stated he would be disappointed if Capaz missed the last game of the regular season and doesn’t believe Capaz needs to be rested for the playoffs. “Resting is for the weak… Back in my country they send you to jail for resting. I use to walk 15 miles to go to school and never once, did I stop to rest. It’s one god damn hour, he can rest after!”

Seems like the Shockers will be playing short bench once again and not even sure who will be keeping the nets for them. Nick Sullo over heard that team management was talking to an obscure but talented netminder named Jose Lopez. Story says he never really played hockey but they have a similar game in his homeland, a mix of handball and rugby where the goal keeper has to stop flying fast coconuts thrown toward his net. He was the country number one prospect until he got shelled by a barrage of shots and lost his left testicular. Might be something to consider…

We’ll see how the team does against the number one team of the league tonight