"Mad Chaos" at Shockers Team Meeting

Shockers held a team meeting last night which can only be described as "mad chaos." The night started off on an awkward foot when star goaltender, Giancarlo Capaz failed to make an appearance. Sources say he had been seen mingling at a local soccer field with Jamie Guerrera, who was cut in the first round of training camp. Capaz would not comment to the press regarding his whereabouts and seemed to avoid talking about the team altogether. Could this be another case of Ray Emery syndrome, infecting the team with questionable antics and tomfoolery?

Another member who was MIA was Greg Emmanuel, who had claimed he was too tired to be at the team meeting. Later in the night, sources spotted Emmanuel in a downtown dance club where he had invited himself to a bachelorette party and started making out with the bride-to-be and the bridesmaids. Emmanuel was then kicked out of the club but decided to cause chaos on the street, smashing windshields of parked cars, flashing his chest to bystanders and even doing the famous moonwalk as made famous by pop legend, Michael Jackson. Emmanuel denies all allegations.

Amongst the attendees, Nick Sullo made an appearance after all since he had been questionable after his recent sex scandal run-in.

Steve Diabo, the big baller, shot caller of the team had been overheard talking about women trouble. Sources state that even though the number of women causing him grief is unknown, there has been reports that he has "girlfriends" as far as New Mexico. With all this lady trouble, it is unclear on what shots he will call but we do know one thing, with so many girls around him, he probably has big balls.

As if it seemed the Shockers might shy away from trouble with the law, it has come to the team's attention that Jonathan Sante had been caught by local officials for "urinating in a public area." Although he refused to go on the record about it, he did mention, he happens to be a long time R. Kelly fan.

The good news of the night came early on when Rod "the Rocket" Tremblay announced that he has renegotiated his contract and has been cleared by team doctors to play this season. "I'm going to play, I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm here to win," boasted Tremblay after signing his contract worth 1.8 million for the season. The Shockers will now need to count their lucky stars and hope Rod stays healthy or else the Rocket could be grounded once again. Will Tremblay be the next Forsberg?

As the night progressed on, Godard was seen running rampant and in a drunken rage, smashing cans of Campbell's Tomato soup with his AK27. He had been giving neighbors the finger and other hand gestures that he claims means "victory." When asked to comment on it this morning, he was no where to be found. What direction is the team going in with a captain who seems to prefer to get toasted instead of playing hockey?



With all the off-ice drama in the dressing room, we will all hope this team is able to pick up their socks before the season starts.