Season Schedule Released; Boucher Remains with the Shockers

In what seemed to be an eternity to most of the Shockers camp, the NABHL has finally released the schedule for the upcoming season this afternoon. No sooner did the schedule get released, Marc Boucher, defensive marksman, issued an emergency press conference putting himself on the record to confirm that he has declined all offers to pack his bags and head to the Russian Super League and he will now 100% remain with the Shockers.

"We're happy to know he'll be with us, on the spot," stated Alain Godard, the squad's head-honcho.

"It is going to be a great season with him on our side that's for true," added defensive sidekick, Francois "El Brisebois en Penne" Hamelin.

The season schedule is as follows, please take note that this has been copied from NABHL.com:

July
		Date	Time	Arena	H/A	Opponent	Result	Score	Boxscore
1	Sun	Jul 6, 2008	9:30 PM	Rinque	AWAY	Expos	-	-	-
2	Wed	Jul 9, 2008	10:30 PM	Rinque	HOME	Ligers	-	-	-
3	Wed	Jul 16, 2008	8:30 PM	Rinque	AWAY	Green Giants	-	-	-
4	Sun	Jul 20, 2008	10:30 PM	Rinque	AWAY	Mother Puckers	-	-	-
5	Wed	Jul 23, 2008	10:30 PM	Rinque	HOME	Blazers	-	-	-
6	Wed	Jul 30, 2008	6:30 PM	Rinque	HOME	Ratz	-	-	-

August
		Date	Time	Arena	H/A	Opponent	Result	Score	Boxscore
7	Sun	Aug 3, 2008	8:30 PM	Rinque	AWAY	Individuals	-	-	-
8	Wed	Aug 6, 2008	7:30 PM	Rinque	HOME	FW	-	-	-
9	Wed	Aug 13, 2008	9:30 PM	Rinque	AWAY	Grinders	-	-	-
10	Sun	Aug 17, 2008	10:30 PM	Rinque	AWAY	Ratz	-	-	-

Is Boucher going to the Russian Super league?

Seems like some Shocker’s have been approached by other teams/leagues for their services. The lack of organization of the NABHL has gotten a few players nervous, enough for some to consider going elsewhere. Captain Alain Godard has asked for his players to stay calm and not get distracted with this pish posh. [Godard] “It’s the same thing when it’s time to sign contracts, players get too anxious and things just get blown out of proportion”. When asked if he knew anything about Boucher talking with AK Bars management, Godard replied that those were just made up rumors… On the other hand, Boucher was a bit more evasive [Boucher] “Everything is possible, until I get a schedule from this league I’ll keep my options open. I’ll consider every offer seriously, I have a family to feed, my Escalade gas tank to fill… I don’t want to be stuck eating baloney!” Boucher is known for his short temper but many teams would be willing to cope with it in exchange of his bullet slap shot. Also, other teams are aware that Boucher will be a father soon and his looking for more stability. We tried to get comments from the AK Bars but seems like nobody spoke english that day… Boucher stopped the interview short by stating [Boucher] “Stability is a good thing!” and walked out on the reporters. All other players have been denying rumors and refused to comment on the Boucher case. Only Rod the Rocket threw in a one of his sarcastic lines “Let him go to Russia… More ice time for me. Let see how he enjoys trading his SUV for a Lada… Anyway, I don’t even know if this is true, you reporters just want to print garbage, just wait for the season to start and you’ll have plenty of stuff to write about.” It almost seemed like the Rocket had one too many Coconut Rum by the pool…

Meanwhile, old school D, Hamelin said this might actually be a good thing after all [Hamelin] “This will give Stevens some time to rest his injured foot, Capaz will enjoy a week in the Barbados to forget the devastating lost he went though in game 3 and Godard will have a week to wash his dirty rotten smelly TPS gloves. Works out well for all the Ex-Blues…”

Blues Finish Second; Shockers on Stand-by

Last night's 4-1 loss to the Outlaws wrapped up the season for the division one Blues. A game that saw Shockers captain, Alain Godard and guardian of the bread basket, Giancarlo Capaz, make an effort to capture the cup got ousted by the fourth seeded Outlaws. Outlaws completed what can only be described as a roller coaster of a season where they sat in the bottom of the standings from the get-go and yet pulled off a huge win taking out first placed Huskies and then the Blues in three games to take home the cup.

Even though Godard remained off the score sheet, Capaz picked up the slack making huge saves in all three periods.

"I made some pretty big saves but there are just some goals that squeezed through, it's tough to save them all," Capaz mentioned in a phone interview after the game.

A detail worth mentioning is the absence of forward, Andrew Stevens, who was MIA for the game. Suspicions circled around him sustaining injuries in game two where team doctors had noted him as being day-to-day. Other rumors spreaded that he had been held back by Shockers trainers to keep him healthy for the upcoming season. Stevens, uncharacteristically, opted not to comment on his whereabouts.

With the Blues season out of the way, the Shockers wait for the call from league officials to get the start on Wednesday. NABHL management have yet to release details on the summer season and have not confirmed if the season will start this Wednesday, June 25th or if it will start next Wednesday, July 2nd.

In the meantime, more rumors are floating around about offers made to the Shockers management. Carlo Varano, Blues power forward, had approached the team looking for a possible contract as well as defensive big-boy Dan Forgione. The Shockers camp did not confirm nor did they deny that talks did occur and it is even more in the dark if anything will even come out of the talks.

"We are a full team as it is and this is for sure going to be our squad for the upcoming season. We are already pushing the limits with the number of players we have and I just can't see us being able to make more room under our salary cap," shrugged Godard.

Outlaws Not Singing the Blues

Last night was game two of the winter division one finals where the Blues looked to sweep the Outlaws and take home their second cup in ten years, but the Outlaws had other plans with an 8-5 victory forcing the series to be decided in a game three showdown.

The Outlaws struck first, netting the game's first goal in just over five minutes into the game. The Blues would wake up soon after and put away two goals before the end of the period.

The Outlaws would not stop pouring on the attack making goaltender, Giancarlo Capaz, have to make highlight reel saves. They finally figured him out midway through the period. With the game tied at 2-2, the Blues would jump out in front with two quick goals giving them a 4-2 edge, but the Outlaws would not settle for that netting two quick goals of their own, including one on the powerplay. Just when everyone suspected the period to come to a close, captain, Danny Balenzano, would score his fourth of the game with just 30 seconds left.

The third period was all Outlaws where the Blues could do nothing but stand around helplessly watching their lead crumble into pieces. Outlaws would net four unanswered goals including an empty net goal and that was all she wrote.

"We were too confident before the game and we let it get to our heads," Capaz stated with dismay, "we thought the game was over before it started, we just forgot that we had 60 minutes of hockey to play."

"We stepped in thinking we were winners but we're big losers," Alain Godard said to the press as he was walking off the ice.

The game did contain a couple of injury scares. Capaz looked in some discomfort during warm-up after taking a slapshot to the foot. Team doctors stepped in immediately and he did go on to play the entire game. Also, Shockers first-liner, Andrew Stevens, received a vicious slash to the left foot by opposing defense midway through the game. He was checked after the game by team doctors and tests were concluded indecisive as to whether anything is broken or fractured but to be safe he has been noted to be day-to-day.

With the game going to game three, it is unofficial as to when this game will actually take place. Originally it was scheduled for Sunday at 7:30pm but due to the amount of Italian contingency for both teams and seeing that team Italy is playing in the Euro Cup that afternoon, the league feels that both sides might have numerous players who will be out of commission. League officials are looking into having the game moved to Monday which would not affect the summer season start day of Wednesday, June 25th.

The final date will be released on the NABHL website.

Godard Scores Two; Blues Win Game One

Le Rinque was a packed house last night for game one of the division one finals where the Blues would look to take on the Outlaws. Shocker's captain, Alain Godard, assistant captain, Andrew Stevens and goaltender, Giancarlo Capaz would prove to be an integral part of the Blues triumphant 6-5 over-time win.

Godard potted a deuce for himself, showing a variety of goal scoring magic. Godard's first came 5:13 into the second off a Stevens dump in where Godard pulled old school wrap-around attempt to beat the goaltender, Ralph Diorio. Godard's second came 6:45 into the third, blasting a wrist shot top shelf through traffic. "It feels great to help out the team with some big goals. I'm happy my shots were right on, right there and equally, on the spot," added Godard about his performance.

Stevens added to his points total notching three assists, one on each of Godard's goals and another on Mark Ciminelli's goal. "It was my first game on center for the Blues and it a big change to sit back and let [Godard] and [Prack Patel] have all the fun in front of the net and it was a great game for both of them," said Stevens to reporters.

Capaz had a phenomenal game posting up huge saves including a handful of highlight reel glove saves in the first and second period. Capaz also came up big when it came down to the wire in the third and over-time. "A couple of those goals were lucky shots, hopefully their luck will run out and we'll take home the cup on Wednesday," noted Capaz.

After the game Capaz, Godard and Stevens were seen speaking to league commissioner, Jordan Topor, and some details have been released as to when the Shockers should be hitting the ice. First game looks to be scheduled on Wednesday, June 25, 2008. More details to follow in the coming week.

"Mad Chaos" at Shockers Team Meeting

Shockers held a team meeting last night which can only be described as "mad chaos." The night started off on an awkward foot when star goaltender, Giancarlo Capaz failed to make an appearance. Sources say he had been seen mingling at a local soccer field with Jamie Guerrera, who was cut in the first round of training camp. Capaz would not comment to the press regarding his whereabouts and seemed to avoid talking about the team altogether. Could this be another case of Ray Emery syndrome, infecting the team with questionable antics and tomfoolery?

Another member who was MIA was Greg Emmanuel, who had claimed he was too tired to be at the team meeting. Later in the night, sources spotted Emmanuel in a downtown dance club where he had invited himself to a bachelorette party and started making out with the bride-to-be and the bridesmaids. Emmanuel was then kicked out of the club but decided to cause chaos on the street, smashing windshields of parked cars, flashing his chest to bystanders and even doing the famous moonwalk as made famous by pop legend, Michael Jackson. Emmanuel denies all allegations.

Amongst the attendees, Nick Sullo made an appearance after all since he had been questionable after his recent sex scandal run-in.

Steve Diabo, the big baller, shot caller of the team had been overheard talking about women trouble. Sources state that even though the number of women causing him grief is unknown, there has been reports that he has "girlfriends" as far as New Mexico. With all this lady trouble, it is unclear on what shots he will call but we do know one thing, with so many girls around him, he probably has big balls.

As if it seemed the Shockers might shy away from trouble with the law, it has come to the team's attention that Jonathan Sante had been caught by local officials for "urinating in a public area." Although he refused to go on the record about it, he did mention, he happens to be a long time R. Kelly fan.

The good news of the night came early on when Rod "the Rocket" Tremblay announced that he has renegotiated his contract and has been cleared by team doctors to play this season. "I'm going to play, I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm here to win," boasted Tremblay after signing his contract worth 1.8 million for the season. The Shockers will now need to count their lucky stars and hope Rod stays healthy or else the Rocket could be grounded once again. Will Tremblay be the next Forsberg?

As the night progressed on, Godard was seen running rampant and in a drunken rage, smashing cans of Campbell's Tomato soup with his AK27. He had been giving neighbors the finger and other hand gestures that he claims means "victory." When asked to comment on it this morning, he was no where to be found. What direction is the team going in with a captain who seems to prefer to get toasted instead of playing hockey?



With all the off-ice drama in the dressing room, we will all hope this team is able to pick up their socks before the season starts.

Sullo caught in sex scandal

Team Shocker has yet to play a game and once again a member of the team makes the headline. Star grinder Nick Sullo has been caught at a swingers club located in the east end of Montreal. The event took place on June 7^th and was caught on tape by local paparazzi Michael Rutkowski. [Rutkowski] “I knew it would pay off to follow Sullo, he’s living la vida loca… Life in the fast lane”.

Captain Alain Godard stood up for his player mentioning that nothing illegal happened “The girl was 18, I don’t see a problem with this situation”. Seems like he [Sullo] got a lucky break has the girl had just turned 18 that same day.

When asked to comment Sullo said he wouldn’t talk about the situation but we could see a smile of satisfaction on his face. The bartender of this dark establishment [Dominic Duchesne] said Sullo was a regular but never caused any problems. «C’t’e gars fait pas de trouble, y’est assez high class mais y’est aime jeune en criss. »

Jasmin, which was roaming in the area, said he wasn’t aware of the Sullo event “18???? That must have been fu*** tight!!!”. We could smell the hard liquor on Jasmin breath and clearly identified Emmanuel puking near their vehicle.

Has the situation was getting out of control, Boucher arrived in his black Escalade and did damage control. We could overhear parts of the conversation but his [Boucher’s] Escalade was blasting loud ZZtop guitar riffs… Seems like he was lecturing Jasmin but JMan didn’t appear to take the warnings seriously and just left the scene in his 84 Chevette.

Management has refused to comment on this.

Boucher Staying with the Team

Team’s General Manager Bob Gainey announced that defenseman Marc Boucher will stay with the Shockers, after an unexpected arrangement was made with 2 other players of the team.

“We finally agreed on some terms, probably a first in the history, where teammates accept to give part of their salary to a player to convince him to stay”, said Gainey, who is more than happy to see Boucher stay in the line-up. “We definitely need him at the blue line, especially on power plays, where he will be a tremendous asset”, he concluded.

Defenseman François Hamelin and forward Andrew Stevens, the two players involved on these terms, did not hide their satisfaction. “I really wanted him to stay, we cannot afford to lose a player like that for these reasons”, said Hamelin, Boucher’s linemate. When asked if playing on the same line will make them one of the most dangerous pairs of the division this season, he answered with a traditional “that’s for true”.

Stevens, on his end, confirmed that it would have been a huge loss and that the trade was not a solution. “We definitely need him. By the way, poodles are small dogs”, he said briefly.

When Boucher was questioned about this “lack of practices”, he replied “All I want is our team to be the best. The more we practice, the more we get used to play as a team and the more dangerous we become. A lot of players say they want to win and we will win as a team.”

Reached over the phone after the press conference, Boucher admitted the contract discontent was all made up and that all this extra funds will be used to pay beer for the whole team after games. In no time he even thought about leaving the team.

The Shockers team management confirmed Boucher’s presence at the team meeting and jersey presentation ceremony taking place on Thursday.

All's well that ends well.

Boucher's Discontent Yields Trade Rumours

Despite recent reports that the Shockers solidified their line-up last week, there is a wind of change in team's dressing room as of late. Marc Boucher, the defensive slap shot powerhouse, has brought up his discontent with his contract and direction of the team to team management. He has even gone as far as asking to be traded. Management will need to act quick as the season is right around the corner as well as the jersey presentation ceremony in just days, it will be interesting to see whether Boucher will make an appearance or not.

When Boucher was asked about his discontent with the team, he replied, "I have no problem with the guys on the team but when I see [Maxime] Lapierre signing with the Montreal Canadiens for $1.375 million over two seasons, I begin to wonder where my money is."

Boucher was reminded that the Shockers are an expansion team making its debut in the NABHL and not the NHL, he simply replied, "hockey is hockey, le gros."

"Boucher is a good kid but he has to realize that he has to prove himself first to make the big bucks," said Bob Gainey, GM for the Montreal Canadiens, when asked about his recent signing of Lapierre compared to Boucher's signing to the Shockers. "Not to rag on him and his organization but, we're talking about the NHL ice hockey...not NABHL ball hockey," added Gainey.

Since going public about his discontent yesterday, Boucher had been approached by the rival sex-referenced team, the Camel Toes. If Boucher agrees to the trade, which details yet to be released, the Shockers would pick-up a 12-pack of Mylec balls and a Sponge Bob Square Pants carrying bag in return.

"It will not be nice to see him go, but 12 balls sounds good nonetheless," stated team captain, Alain Godard.

"It will be a different team with him gone, that's for true," added defensive partner, Francois Hamelin, who did not specify if that statement was positive of negative.

The Shockers have been grounded for the past three weeks due to lack of practice venues and that might be part of Boucher's recent change of heart.

"I just want to play, these guys don't want to practice, then I don't play and then I get sad," Boucher said regarding the recent lack of practices.

The team meeting and jersey presentation ceremony takes place on Thursday at the Hamelin-Godard residence regardless of Boucher's presence or not, only time will tell what he will make of his future.

Les couleurs officielles des Shockers

Les Shockers arboreront le bleu, blanc, rouge pour cette première édition. Le chandail sera officiellement dévoilé au souper d’ouverture de l’équipe qui devrait se dérouler dans les jours à venir. Le capitaine de l’équipe, Alain Godard, affirme que ce moment se verra comme rassembleur « Une autre étape de franchie dans la construction de cette dynastie. La remise officielle des chandails lors du banquet d’équipe permettra de tisser des liens encore plus solides. » Et du même souffle il ajoute « Je crois fermement que les Shockers vont progresser rapidement et causeront plusieurs surprises!».

Andrew Stevens s’est dit très honoré d’avoir été élu de manière unanime pour assister le capitaine de l’équipe. « Quand j’ai vu le A sur mon chandail, j’étais vraiment fier! J’ai réalisé à quel point c’était un honneur pour moi de représenter les gars et d’assister Big Bab. ». En suivant la même ligne que son capitaine il affirme que l’équipe risque d’en surprendre plus d’un « Si les autres équipes nous prennent pas au sérieux, ils risquent de se faire brûler… Comme on dit, les carottes sont cuites! ». Stevens, qui a joué un rôle crucial quand à l’alignement final de l’équipe. « Quand j’ai su que Sante et Diabo étaient prêt à venir aider les Shockers j’ai fait tout les appels nécessaire pour les signer ». Tous les joueurs de l’équipe questionné sur le sujet n’on eu que de bons commentaires à l’égard de ces deux additions. Greg Emmanuel a parfaitement résumé la situation avec son franc parlé habituel « J’en reviens pas qu’on a mit la main sur ces deux joueurs là!!! Crisse, c’est des joueurs de concession tabarnak!».

Boucher, qui secondera également le capitaine et dirigera la brigade défensive du club, était plus sobre dans ses commentaires « C’est certain que je suis fier du club mais c’est tout un défi qui nous attend», lorsque questionné sur la brigade défensive du club il a avoué avoir passé beaucoup de temps à revoir les bandes vidéo des pratiques pour apporter les correctifs requis. « C’est gars là ont pas la même expérience que nos attaquants mais ils ont du cœur » et d’ajouter « Un grand défi sera de contrôler Jasmin, sur la glace comme à l’extérieur… Il faut qu’il contrôle ses émotions. La gloire risque de lui monter à la tête et je ne veux pas passer mon temps à le sortir du trouble » en faisant allusion à son arrestation dernièrement, Jasmin avait été cueillie en compagnie de deux prostituées dans l’arrondissement de Verdun. Jman assure que c’est un accident de parcours qui ne se reproduira plus « Mauvaise place au mauvais moment, j’vais faire plus attention… De toute manière c’est du passé, moi je regarde en avant pis tout ce que je veux c’est boire dans la coupe! ». Disons que la défensive des Shockers est chanceuse de compter sur un gardien d’expérience comme Capaz. Ce dernier n’aura pratiquement pas eu de repos lorsque la saison débutera, ça ne semble pas l’affecter pour autant « J’ai hâte que ça commence, je suis en top shape! Je passe beaucoup de temps au Gym avec Sullo pis Kastrounis, c’est gars la ont du cardio à revendre… Je suis en parfaite santé! »

Les journalistes sont anxieux d’interviewer Ducharme qui se trouve encore en Europe. Il doit honorer sont contrat avec l’équipe du Luxembourg mais devrait être de retour au pays pour le banquet d’équipe. Hamelin a rassuré les journalistes en affirmant qu’il avait parlé à Ducharme et qu’il s’apprêtait à rentrer au bercail « Ducharme va revenir d’ici quelques jours, ne vous en faites pas… C’est un gars de parole. »

Opening Game Bobble Head Announced!

In a press conference held last night by Shockers management, it was announced the that the kick-off of their debut season will take the Rinque by storm this coming month. They boasted that a well rounded team will make them a competitor, unlike most new expansion teams.

The fans will have several reasons to cheer and idolize their favorite team and players alike. Not only will fans now have a hometown team to cheer for but fans will benefit from collectible memorabilia that will be available at almost every game of the regular season.

"We'll start the ball rolling with our first bobble head action figure of none other than star defense man and a superb humanitarian, Jeff Jasmin," announced team owner, George Gillette.

Since the announcement, collectors have been buzzing and several online discussion boards have broken into a free-for-all frenzy where some memorabilia resellers are taking pre-sale orders without guarantees to the paying customers that they will actually receive a bobble head. With the unlimited amount of transactions taking place online and only a limited amount of bobble head (sources say, as many as 100 were made), we could witness one of the largest sports memorabilia cases of fraud in existence and which could even land Jasmin in jail as an accomplis. This reporter finds it strange how the law could twist enough to see Jasmin face up to 5 years in a maximum security jail, however numerous police have reassured that this is possible and have also stated they will take down anyone who will get in their way.

"This is bulls***! The five-oh just want to push me around, but they have another thang comin'! As yal see by my playing style, I push back!" Jasmin responded to these outrageous cases of finger-pointing.

We will have to see as game one comes around the corner.

Blues Wrapping Up, Godard Optimistic

The playoff match-ups have been finalized for the winter season, team captain, Alain Godard, offensive cruncher, Andrew Stevens and goal tending sensation, Giancarlo Capaz set their sights on cup for the next coming weeks.

"It's hard to not get caught up in the playoff fever," described Stevens who was M.I.A. for the final regular season game, where the Blues were manhandled (or bird-handled?) by the Pelicans, 6-2.

When asked about his uncharacteristic absence for the last game, Stevens replied, "I was not feeling up to par and I didn't want to hold us back if it came to crunch time. I had a good amount of time to rest up and get focussed and I'm looking forward to making a difference in the playoffs."

"[Stevens] could have been a big help out there, anyone would have been a big help, we were flat and they played well," added Capaz in a post-game interview making a reference to several defensive collapses where Capaz faced a barrage of deflections made by his own team.

The Blues have been watching their season sink like an anvil in water losing 4 of their last 5 games and being outscored 32-23. "We can't seem to play a full game. Being blown out or even falling short by a goal or two is really not how you want to see the season close out," noted Capaz.

"We need to pick it up, win the cup and carry over the success when the Shockers take the floor," says Godard.

"The Shockers is where it's at," agrees Capaz.

Stevens was M.I.A before this reporter could get his final comments.

More to come as the Blues will take on the Pelicans in round one starting this Wednesday at 7:30pm.