Another Season Cut Short in Playoffs

Final Score
Les A's 5
Shockers 0

So you'd think they'd get used to it by now. The Shockers were eliminated once again in the first round of the playoffs last night at Howie-Morenz arena by the deadly hands of Les A's.

Les A's put on a strong performance and were the better team out there on the floor. They were much faster than the Shockers, first on the ball at all times and played positioning exceptionally well making it very hard for the Shockers to exit their own zone let alone winning the blue line in the attacking zone.

Despite the Shockers sticking to their game plan like shame glaze by staying out of the penalty box, the guns (not talking about Jeff or Chris Millar's biceps) were just not firing for the Shockers O-fence. Shockers had few shots on net and even fewer possible scoring chances. The frustration was rather evident on the Shockers' bench as some players were yelling at each other and some water bottles went airborn. No one dared to touch the bottle with Jeff's face on it for the fear of losing their life.

Giancarlo Capaz was again bomb shelled by the opposition and made a lot of big saves but in the end, he is only human, and the A's figured him out five times throughout the game. It is rumored that Capaz did take out his frustrations out by gambling his childrens trust fund on the Milwaukee Brewers.

Out of the line-up last night were veterans Francois Hamelin and Steve Diabo. Hamelin was a healthy scratch as he cameo'd for the return season of Hanging with Mr. Cooper on ABC but instead got lost and ended up drinking himself to sleep in a biker bar in the Montreal district of St. Henri. Diabo was out with a foot injury and ended being Vince Lombardi for the night behind the Shocker bench. Unfortunately for him, Howie-Morenz arena didn't turn into Lambo field and the Shockers didn't win the Superbowl. In the line-up was the jolly green giant himself, Gary McDermott and the flying frenchman, Guillaume "Guy! Guy! Guy!" Cote to fill in the voids of the line-up.

Being eliminated in the first round now marks the fourth time in a row that the Shockers have not seen the likes of the second round. Very sad.

"You know it's sad that this always happens. We have a decent season and pow, right in the kisser! We're out the door with ease," explains Andrew Stevens.

After the game, there were many questions about the future of the Shockers.

"There are guys who want to play, but it just depends on who is taking over the team now," commented Stevens after stating that he will not be leading the next wave of Shockers into a new season, "if whoever takes over needs players and they offer me a spot, I'll be there, but I don't feel like I led the team in the right direction this season."

If the Shockers do put together a team, they will have to shop the market as to where to situate the team since Howie-Morenz turns into an ice rink this coming month and many of the players do not feel that they do not want to return to the NABHL.

Since the end of the season is here for the Shockers, it is that joyous time to dish out the hardware and award some lucky participants some bragging rights. The Shockers awards are below!

NHL-inspired Trophies:

Mo-Lester B. Person Trophy (best player when on the ground): Jeff Jasmin was the champ from last season but this guy always to stay on the radar...even though he wasn't full-time, we gave it to Jon Sante.

Frank Salloppe Trophy (defense who plays almost every position in one shift): Chris Diabo won it last season but hey, it's gotta go back to Jeff Jasmin. No Doubt!

Bill Masturbate Trophy (player who loves us so much to show up every game): Marc is the usual winner of this award so we decide to take a chainsaw to it and give it to Jeff, Marc and Alain.

Balder Balls Trophy (player who wasn't on the team before and stuck it out all season): We had a lot of first-times on the team but we decided to give to a guy who has a lot of good ideas, good intentions and team spirit, Phil McHigh come on down!

Lady Bang Trophy (gentlemanly conduct): I think everyone will agree that Chris Diabo should take this one home.

Jack Ass Em' Award (coach of the year): Steve "Vince Lombardi" Diabo. Enough said.

Chuck Norris Trophy (defenceman who might kill someone with a shot): Marc Boucher usually takes this one home but we decided to give to a guy who has a heck of a deadly shot, Jonathan Bourget!

Vagina Trophy (best goaltender): He was there for us as usual, GC Capaz.

Fart Trophy (most valuable player): His points were up there but his penalty minutes were through the roof. Chris Diabo can have this one to put on his wall.

Blond Smith Trophy (most valuable player in the playoffs): He kept us in there until the end and made some huge saves, Mr. Capaz takes home the award.


Shockers Trophies:

Two In The Goo Trophy (awarded to the player who is likely to smash someone's head into the glass): Ben Ducharme

One in the Poo Trophy (awarded to the player with the most penalty minutes): Chris Diabo

Big Baller Trophy (awarded automatically to Steve Diabo): Steve Diabo

Shot Caller Trophy (awarded exclusively to Steve Diabo): Steve Diabo

Poltergeist Trophy (awarded to the player who missed the most games): Frankie Ortuso

Deep Throat Trophy (awarded to the player who is involved the most in team communications): Andrew Stevens


New Shocker Awards:

The Teaser Trophy (awarded to the player who got stuck playing a new position and didn't complain about it): Andrew "Tito" Thomas

The Pleaser Trophy (awarded to the best player to come out of retirement): Greg "Lids" Emmanuel

The Spocker Trophy (awarded to player who always gave his two cents after the game): Joey Rae

The Rocker Trophy (awarded to the player who flexs his muscles more than Jeff): Chris Millar

The Show Stopper Trophy (awarded to the player most likely to cry from his penis): Francois Hamelin


Good season boys! Thanks to all of the players who made this season possible!

Shawkers Tie it Up

Final Score
Shockers 5
Hawks 5

You couldn't have asked for a better regular season ending game. Shockers stayed out of the box and actually looked like they played as a team out on the floor.

Despite the game ending in a tie even after shootouts, the buzz in the Shockers' dressing room was more than a victory.

"Everyone was working out there and it paid off. Everyone felt pretty good about what they did out there tonight," commented Andrew Stevens

Shockers leading scorer and the league's most penalized player, Chris Diabo, was in nets filling in for Giancarlo Capaz who was taking a game off before the much anticipated playoffs. Diabo held tough throughout the game and made some huge saves to keep the team in the game. He did not receive any penalty minutes.

The Shockers enjoyed some scoring production from Steve Diabo whose cannon has been rather silent this season as he potted a deuce. Ben Ducharme chalked up a big goal and assist for his season total of 7 points while Chris Millar notched another nick in the bed post for the third game in a row.

The Shockers end their regular season mid-pack in 6th place, just being shifted last minute by La Rapace due to a big difference in the +/- department. The Shockers could have solidified 5th had they beaten the Hawks but a decent season by the Shocker squad nonetheless. The playoffs will start up Tuesday, June 28 @ 7:30pm where the Shockers will take on Les A's. Les A's beat the Shockers 5-1 last time these two teams faced but the Shockers remain optimistic about their chances.

"The team is beatable. It was us who let ourselves get beat last time. If we stay out of the penalty box and play hockey, we can beat any team, any day of the week," commented Stevens.